Join Erah Society with this season’s first guest, Vaness Henry, for a profound inquiry into the genius that lives within each of us.
In this episode, Jas welcomes guest and dear friend Vaness Henry to contemplate the legacies we craft and leave behind as Aquarian Entrepreneurs. Drawing from ancestral wisdom and the necessity to adapt these teachings for contemporary relevance, Jas and Vaness discuss the potency of selective energy investment. Through the transformative act of focusing first on self well-being, how might we cultivate collective relationships that mirror this?
Jas and Vaness discuss the nuanced implications that language can have on our creative essence and identity, and how this can shape our experience. Delving into the world of energy, from Feng Shui, to Human Design, to Astrology, to the Shamanic Arts, to the sacredness we each carry within, join Jas and Vaness on an intellectual expedition exploring how the company we keep can either illuminate or extinguish the Godness within.
Guest:
Vaness Henry is a Shamanic Practitioner, Producer and Author. She explores evolved body care by identifying afflictions in the body’s energy field that may lead to illness or dis-ease. As a childhood cancer survivor with a history in educational and motivational speaking, Vaness is known for heartfelt, impactful insights in the fields of Human Design, Feng Shui and the Shamanic Arts.
Her Cosmic Profile is a 6/2 Ego Manifestor with a Libra Sun, Aries Moon, and Leo Rising.
Find her at vanesshenry.com, @vanesshenry, and @VanessHenryNetwork to connect.
Mentioned:
Calculate your Variable using Vaness’s Bodygraph Calculator
Join Vaness’s Wellness Club
This is Erah Society and you are listening to the Counter Cultural Podcast. I'm going to do the intro later. I'll intro you later.
Yeah, yeah. Your skin looks incredible, by the way, you fucking luminous being you, every time.
It's so cool. Alex was actually saying that he was so excited to listen to this conversation because he's like I don't think you guys have ever had like a conversation like just the depths of you guys' conversations on wax, like normally when we have our podcast. I even found one screenshot from like 2020 or 2021 where we were doing a live together. Oh, my God, we look so young.
First of all, we look so fresh. You probably look so cute. You probably look so cute. You probably got some good eyewear or something. I probably got a blunt little haircut.
You did.
You did?
You had a very. It was very short and blunt, but I think, well, let me tell you.
Let me tell you for a minute here what. Let me make a declaration. I've been wanting to do a show together for a long time and you're one of my closest people, one of my favorite subjects to experiment and fuck with, and I like to just see what way could I come at her that she would maybe be into this, how she going to respond, and you always respond differently and I keep coming at you from different angles. We could talk about this, we could talk about that, we could talk about this, and we both have like our own kind of little shows, but I've never met someone that I was able to go so deep with, so thoughtfully, so many different angles, and then knowing like, oh, jazz is also shores. Like me, we resonate there. She's also personal view like me, we resonate there. And when you get those two connection points, you can really see yourself in the other person because you resonate so much. So it's a really great match and I love that. You're three, five and I'm a six, two, so there's also an opposite resonance there.
Yes, so I'm always like how can I gather into some kind of conversation where she will just let me talk to her about anything I want to talk about, like God love business? How am I going to do that with her? Anyway, so you invited me on your podcast just so that we could finally talk. But for me I'm like how am I going to approach this, because I know you so intimately.
Well, you know what's the second thing? That is also fascinating to me, because you're a manifestor and you didn't tell everyone your cosmic profile, so maybe you can mention your human design and then top three in astrology, so sun, moon rising, and then profile authority and type.
Okay, so let me echo this back. So my cosmic profile is my top three in astrology, and then some features in my human design. Type authority and profile Authority profile Okay, cute, oh, oh, oh, it's like my little taglines that I already say it's cute it is.
It's so stuff for me. I love that. So on the astrology side, I'm a Libra sun with an Aries moon, lil Spice and Leo rising, because we like to put on a show. And on the human design side, I'm a six two ego manifestor, so we like to put on a show. Same thing. I'd basically feel like saying the exact same thing. Yes, yeah, actually that's cute Cosmic profile. I love that.
Yeah, I think it's really cool that anyone that's listening could resonate with you or any parts of you they could see themselves in. I know the term expander has always used a lot in like the wellness space, but I think it is a great language.
Yeah, I think it's such a great concept because we see people we like and sometimes we don't know what parts of ourselves are resonating to them. But if they maybe tell us and they speak the same language as us, we like their little jokes, or we like the way that they look, or we like their setup or whatever the thing is, that I think calls out that part of ourselves that we're not quite sure in the conscious realm. Oh, I really love Vanessa's use of red. Oh, this is an Aries moon. Oh, I'm an Aries moon. Oh, okay, maybe I can, you know, shimmy it up with a little bit of color or something. Oh, my gosh, fred. The other thing that I was going to say is that you being a manifestor, it must be very strange to be interviewed like asked questions and then you are in response to those questions, or like what's the dynamic between being interviewed?
Well, when I typically go on somebody's show, I do flip it around on them.
Yeah, you do.
Where I, because in my world I'm so interested to get to know you. So here are the languages that I speak and I'm just going to speak them. But how about we focus on you? And while I focus on you, that allows me to show what I'm capable of. You know, yeah, I have a journalism background too, so the interviewing is so natural for me and to initiate, start the conversation. That's why I like to go to places where I have a rapport and I have a relationship, because they know how to talk to me. They don't ask me rapid fire point blank questions. They know how to set it up. They know how to play to my ego. You know what I mean, and I love that. I appreciate that. It allows me to be more. It allows me to show more of my second line qualities that are silly and be and playful, rather than all this language around like your hermit.
You're you don't see yourself.
We're like, oh God, okay, that's really scary. So I like to go wiggle into little safe spaces, you know, and then the converse, because I'm comfortable there. The conversation naturally just kind of unfolds that way where it's not really an interview, it is a conversation, it is relational, in that way.
Mm. Hmm, yeah, I love that. And before we started recording we went into like our normal friendship talking and I was like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me turn on the recording because I don't think that a lot of people know that we're actually friends like offline and that we're involved in each other's lives and know each other's kids and partner Well I mean, I tell everyone that I know you but we have met yet in person I can't speak for you, but I'm like, oh, my friend jazz.
Oh, my friend jazz, you know this brainiac genius? Yeah, oh, I know her and do I know her? Like I love how you're. Like nobody knows that we're friends. I'm like, well over in my corners I'm tooting your horn constantly, so I'll speak for myself, but I did want to tell you. By the way, I'm working with someone right now who wanted me to echo and circulate something back to you. She's studying in the tea house and she just thinks the way that you translate and deliver your material is so grounding and I loved that language on you.
Just because I always think about your root and your sacral, because I experience you there. We both have definition in our head and we kind of have a meeting of the minds and I really value that in our relationship. But a difference I noticed, because your head energy feels quite familiar to me, because I'm so resonant with it, your body energy, and it only comes through digitally. So there isn't that human experience like you had touched on, like we haven't been in the same aura, which will be a profound. I will sob immensely.
I cannot wait for that release. But yeah, I find I really gather your teachings on timing and on centering pleasure for the sacral rather than centering work, and these are teachings that I take from you. So when I hear other people kind of like affirming that, I'm like I know me too. I think she comes across that way too. I'm going to tell her at that weight because, like I feel like a lot of people, when I adore people publicly, a lot of people will then come to me and adore them as well, and I love that Let us adore you we adore together.
Gosh, I love that.
Anyway, but you're such a watcher though. I mean, yes, you're an observer, but I think what you said earlier about being a six to like it's more about the other person. I have to be able to see myself in the other person, and so with that, you have to kind of curate in a way, like who are the people that are around me? And if I don't see myself in them, then maybe I need to back up, because my whole, not my whole self, but how I relate to myself is very much how I'm relating to other people, and we were just briefly talking about I was on LinkedIn, because Alex is such a LinkedIn nerd and he's always like you got to get on LinkedIn.
I'm like, look, linkedin is like some far away land that it just feels so far away, like I have to get on a ship. I got to get on a plane, I got to get on a speed journey, I got to get in a taxi. It's a whole journey. So anytime I try to go on there, I try to go on there with intention of like scanning the field, seeing what's going on, seeing what are the trends, which is interesting because that's like our transfer, transfer and some of that.
Let us, let us go into that. I just said the same today. I was like you know what I'm feeling a little bit too head down, pigeon hold, can't see, for some reason. So I'm just going to, I'm going to self transfer and I'm going to go look at what others are doing, but I do it, I'm going to do so lightly, like I'm going to go do so with a soft gaze, you know, and just see the other options that are out there, rather than let myself sink too much into that where I am now competing with them. They're better than me, I'm worse than them.
I'm really really strict with what I will allow myself to ingest at this point and really really strict on who I am willing and not willing to surround myself with. Because, touching on kind of what you, what you were discussing before, we can't see ourselves, and so it's so important who we choose to surround ourselves with. Because if we do not like how we are reflected back, especially when we know so much as we do about energy, why am I continuing to engage in that relationship If it doesn't feel good to be around you and I don't like what you're showing me about myself? Perhaps there's something offset in this relationship or within just me? Perhaps I need to go pull myself away in order to evaluate that within myself, because I don't like that that's being shown within me. It's not inherently that the other person is doing something quote unquote wrong or bad, but the dynamic, that energy field between the two of us is showing me something about myself that is not feeling good and I do not want to carry that character trait. So I'm going to go do some reevaluating on that and so that may pull me away from people. But at this point I have a very close circle. I have rings around me a small circle here, another ring here, another ring here and I know where, who's in the rings and what needs to shift. And that's my way of kind of building community around me, because I'm learning that's very important for me at my time of retreat on the roof but who is worth and not worth investing myself in? Who is not worth investing in that relationship? Because, for whatever reason and that's actually been hard but since so much of my energy is about what I will or will not invest my energy into, as an ego manifestor, I can't invest into everything and everyone, and I have tried and I have become really, really unwell and real, a real people pleaser, you know. So it's fun to be like. I really really like you. I want more of that and I really, really like you, or really, really, really like you.
And I don't tend to focus on things I don't like at all. Like people are like oh, it's really valuable for me to do that? I find for me not at all. I try not to speak ill will toward anything because it doesn't do me any value, it doesn't feel good for me. So instead I would rather avert my gaze and choose to just kind of be looking at things that fill me up rather than things that drain me or make me feel depleted or discouraged. And I get that sometimes things are going to come into my field and I'm going to see things that I don't like, and this is part of life. But when I have the will and the choice to take in or not take in, I execute that.
I think that that's such a universal teaching, even though it's so personal to you and your experience, everything that you said anyone can listen in and say, oh, there are people that I keep around that I shouldn't be. There are things that I'm looking at that don't feel good for me. Why am I still allowing that in? I know that that's a big, that teaching is a constant refreshing for me. Being close taste, I'm like oh well, you don't want to make that person feel like they're not worthy or they're not valuable of your attention. That's not what it is. It's just that that doesn't make me feel good to eat or that doesn't make me feel good to look at or listen to. That's anyone's takeaway. I know your work is really in the realm of body work, but all of the layers of body, not just our physical body, our emotional body, our mental body, our relationship body. You know environmental bodies, the things that we touch and the things that we can't see. That touch us, which has been so fascinating to like, be your friend and your guinea pig Test subject. Yeah, please, my, your test subject all these, all these years, because sometimes the things that you tell me I'm just like oh yes, that is making me sick. Oh yes, that is putting me in a position that I don't want to be in and we were just talking about.
Oh yeah, back to my LinkedIn thing. When I went on there and I saw that there's like I don't want to call it a trend because I hope that it lasts but a lot of corporate you know that corporate business industry are starting to pay attention more to the health and well being of their employees. Whatever their intention is to do that, I don't really know, but it was an interesting moment to find the article where they were talking about many companies are starting to open up a specific position called a well being officer, and this well being officer is going to be in charge of the mental health and the physical health and, I hope, the emotional and spiritual health. I didn't say or mention anything about those last two ones, or even environmental health. It really was focusing on mental health because I think that that's such a deep, deep crisis, like we as a collective had to let it get to a point where it was such an intense crisis that's touching multiple industries.
No industry is going untouched. There's a point where now they have to actually ignite a role, that is, someone will be in charge of making sure that we have the resources at our disposal or, at our kind, of taking in a way, so that our employees can feel like they're equipped enough to show up Besides all the other things that they're doing in their lives. I'm so interested for when Saturn gets kind of a little bit deeper in the degrees of Pisces, to see the refinements that are going to come from those positions, because now that it's at zero degrees it's very much like here's the starting point of what's going to be happening. We haven't really gotten to the depths where the well being officer is going to be maybe in charge of bringing in a meditation, like sound, sound healing facilitators, human design facilitators, like people that are really working on the spiritual aspect of who's who we are as humans, divine beings and also entrepreneurs. I know your work is very much rooted in shamanic arts. I wonder if you kind of see any of those changes coming up in the wider perspective, because I know you were talking about.
Just because they're not doing it my way doesn't mean that it can't be done well or that it can't have its impact or its effect. It's just not necessarily my specific language as I was reading that I kind of felt other like oh, I don't belong there, even though I'm interested in those things. That's not how I would approach it. I would look at it from a holistic vantage point. I would look at it from all of the things that I know about the people I've talked to my friends, my family, the things I've experimented with in my own life. It wouldn't be so focused on mental health, but simultaneously I was very happy that that's even a thing. Last year that wasn't even a thing and we needed to go through the pandemic. We needed to have everyone come out and say I'm depressed, I feel disconnected. But we both know that that disconnection is rooted in something so much deeper than mental health. It's our spiritual bodies, because we're just inhabiting these physical planes. I just want to know your thoughts on all of that.
I don't claim to know what's going on in the corporate side of things. I'm not connected with LinkedIn and I would kind of view that as more of a corporate setting. I was really neat actually to hear about a well-being officer being there, because it's new information for me. I'm over here in La La Land. I feel like this formlessness of entrepreneurship and being an online entrepreneur specifically not that those people aren't on LinkedIn. I was just talking to Rachel Lieberman and she's on LinkedIn. It was telling me LinkedIn things. I'm like why is everyone on LinkedIn? Regardless, I think what I'm really hearing when you're talking is let us not lose sight of what matters. What cares what side we're on, if we're on the left side or the right side, or if we're on LinkedIn or Instagram or in corporate world or not. In corporate world, we're all looking at the same thing. We all want to feel good, we all want to be well.
As somebody who was a cancer patient as a kid, I learned very young to look on the bright side of things. Part of the experience of going through the pandemic, what I would say is a bright side that we went through, because that was a really intense collective thing that we all went through on the planet was we all learned how to focus on the same thing at the same time. It was one of the first times like wow, we're everywhere, all over the world, everywhere, because there's so much going on. War is here, war is there, politics here. At that point we were all looking at the same thing or thinking about the same thing On a collective level. We were really connected as a planet. It's one of the few times we really felt that deep sense of connection, I think, as a planet, as a species on that planet. The bright side there, or the gift, I would like to say, that was through that experience, was being able to all realize we're together and connect.
Right after everything was going on with the pandemic and that really kicked off, we were then all instructed and guided to look through at this lens of Black Lives Matter, this movement there's another example of directing the whole collective attention to something else, because we were all holed up at home, focusing on the pandemic, one thing, and it was another beacon guiding our collective eye, the public eye, to look at this issue now in humanity, look at this issue now in humanity. We really learned how to kind of or at least we were. I don't know that we all learned it per se, but we were exposed to what it would feel like to put all our collective energy toward something. When we're talking about a well-being officer or the corporate world now wanting to have people in that role versus more of a formless world or whatever, let's not lose sight of the fact that who cares if we resonate to what they're doing? Very left on LinkedIn or very right over on Instagram or TikTok or whatever, we're all looking at the same thing we're all looking at. Ah, we've learned through the pandemic. We're not all as well and healthy as we thought we were, and perhaps the way we care for our subtle bodies needs greater attention. I do feel really kind of passionate about that, specifically as somebody who plays in the shamanic arts, works in the shamanic arts, lives that way, as someone on that young shamanic path.
So much of my studies and experiences are understanding the formless part of reality and how that can have a really intense effect on the fully formed part of reality. For example, the reason I'm so strict with my relationships and what I'm willing or not willing to have around me is because I'm living in the reality. That when the dynamic between me and somebody else becomes unwell, it can become toxic and it can give us chronic illnesses such as cancer, when we're not aware of these bad habits or these unhelpful habits or these harmful things that we're doing or these toxic things that we're ingesting. Not just the food we put in our mouth, but the habits that we're doing, the shows we're watching, the media we're taking in these all contribute to the things that we're ingesting and can make us unwell, can make us sick.
So that is all formless things happening and they can affect our body. So how do we bring greater understanding to that part of our experience so we might be proactive in caring for our health, so we don't have to find cures for cancer because we have prevented it from living in the body? We've understand and grow and expanded our awareness in the body so much that we don't need chemotherapy. It's there and it can help us and can make us well when we become sick. But what if we didn't have to get sick in the first place?
And that concept I think that you can paint on almost every industry that we humans have created.
Because I think about that in terms of the business world, we think of philanthropy.
It's like, okay, the economic disparity is so large, let's go ahead and create this topical ointment called philanthropy and at the end of every year, we're going to donate these large chunks of money and we'll just keep doing that, but simultaneously, on the back end, we'll keep extracting, we'll be using child labor, we'll be using everything under the sun that is in opposition of this one gala moment where everyone gets dressed up and writes their checks and does their things and it's like so you wouldn't rather take that money to figure out at the root, how you can set up schools, how you can set up hospitals, how you can set up all the things that you think that that money is funneling into? Besides the intention of what a great tax write off or what a great opportunity to be paparazzi they're seen in the newspaper we have all that stuff that we're dealing with and I almost it almost is like if you look at every industry, you could probably find what the topical aid is. That came as an afterthought to oh shit, we totally made a mistake. We took more than was available.
It's not regenerative.
It's not sustainable. It's completely just extractive, because at our core, are we extractive and maybe that's the thing we haven't looked at. Are we eating too much? Are we too much? Absolutely.
Okay, but okay, okay, as somebody on the high sound spectrum. On the sound spectrum, I should say I have a life of learning, when I'm full and when I'm not, and when I'm empty, and so I will be making errors while I learn about my fullness, maybe putting on weight, losing weight, and there might be extremes in that, because are we aware of when we're full? No, when we are depleted, when we start to explore what multi-level nourishment looks like. And we're depleted in, let's say, our community sphere. I haven't had enough social interaction and I'm feeling away.
And then I'm plopping on the couch and I'm eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich while I'm watching a show, and I'm having another peanut butter and jam sandwich while I'm watching the show. Ash, fuck it, I'm gonna have another one. Oh, my God, I've had a loaf of bread. You know what I mean? Well, because I'm trying to get some type of pleasure, I'm trying to fill something, but I'm not fully aware of what area is perhaps depleted. And so I use the example of like maybe I should go hang out with friends, or go for a coffee with a friend, or have tea with a friend, or something, and that would have been more filling. And I always think of this key moment in Sex in the City, where Carrie Bradshaw is really poor and she's like I have to decide whether I'm gonna buy food or vote.
Yeah.
And sometimes I buy vote because it fed me more and I was like actually there's something to that, there's actually something to that. Like I know that's a very silly, superficial thing that was said, but let's just say she's Valleys and she's now fed by all that information in that field and she happens to work in that field right and perform in that field. So there is strange sustenance there.
It's totally not strange sustenance. It is in the realm of the things that we can't see and that we're too afraid to acknowledge. I don't even think that we have to prove that it exists. It's like we can't prove that air exists. We're just feeling the pressure of it not being there and then the pressure of it being there, and then we suddenly say, oh, that's how air exists. No, we can't see it, we can't take a picture of it, anything. But we acknowledge it and because we acknowledge it now we learn how to work with it. We learn what air is good air quality, what air is not so great quality, and that opens us up to actually being curious enough to understand things that are at our disposal to use. But we are so like there's more of a safety there. It's funny when you're curious, you actually can create safety, but when you're not curious and you shut everything down and you, yeah, we are going to have sickness. We are going to have health issues in every realm and every area, not just our physical bodies, our mental bodies.
Just talk about energy. Let's talk about energy. Energy, let's talk about energy. This is why I love Feng Shui, specifically, because in the study of Feng Shui ancient study, thousands of years old, okay, not as new as something like human design, more ancient like astrology, right, Right, they have an entire system of being able to identify that formless part of reality. Is it Yan Chi or is it Yang Chi? Okay Well, is it Shang Chi? Is it really auspicious energy coming to me or is it Sha Chi? Is it killing energy coming toward me?
And just as you tune into your body that way, and there's multiple different types of Chi and Chi actually has no English translation but what are we really talking about? The formless field of reality, right, and that there is invisible energy that we can perceive. So like when I'm sitting and I'm facing a corner and it's pointed out at me, I can feel that it's pointed at me. It's like it's too much, it's too aggressive, I don't. That doesn't feel good. Or there's this really ominous art. Ooh, it's just creeping me out. I don't know why. It's just something about that art creeping me out. It's sending a certain type of chi, a certain type of energy, a certain type of vibe and as we just dial up our awareness on how that feels for us individually, we will naturally orient and move away from things that aren't good for us. But we're just so confused about that because we get so inundated with messaging that doesn't apply to us but we try and ingest it anyway that we just get so burnt out and sick and unwell.
And we know this, though, because it's a feeling right, and you don't have to teach anyone to feel, but you are teaching people how to not feel. You're teaching them how to build up borders. You're teaching them how to build up walls to close their heart to not listen to, not be compact, to compartmentalize, to say, oh, the ends do justify the means.
It's okay to use child labor because at the end of the year we give a million dollars back to schools and we wouldn't be able to give that million dollars back to schools if we didn't use that child labor. What, what, how does that? And I look at these things and I try, and I try and I try to understand them. You know, sometimes you and I, we can like look at something and we're like, okay, what's the thing behind the thing? And then you get to the thing behind the thing Wait, wait, wait, wait. It doesn't make sense. Let me see it doesn't make sense.
Let me see my favorite thing about you. Let me see what I love. Okay, because I was just like spewing before. Oh, we're Shores people, oh, we have personal view, we resonate so much, blah, blah, blah, that whole thing. But as soon as it gets to our path toward awareness and how we're motivated, we're opposite. You are fear, you get to the bottom, you get to the root and I am need, I am what's necessary here, what's unnecessary, what would be useful, and they transfer to each other. So everything about us is sort of aligned externally and then, once we go away and process it, we're gonna come at it from different approaches in a way. You know, just kind of coming back to what I was saying before, but what I love about you is that I can quickly check in with myself if I'm offset in a way, because at this point I can recognize when something is really really good and aligned for you and I will typically really encourage you that way.
And I can then step away from it and take from it what I need, what is necessary for me, without having to go, let's say, to that kind of depth. Like, well, how do we, you know, if there is all this child labor and then there are these events going on after, and then we're giving that money back? So you're like, well, let's just go back to the root of the problem, why would we be doing that in the first place? That's a great example of distilling it all the way back down to the base, whereas you know somebody who is need motivation, like, well, what's necessary here? Okay, we have these types of problems in the world and we often want change overnight, but if we want to make really meaningful generational change, we have to look bigger picture and look at what's necessary and moving the pieces forward, you know.
They're saying the same thing.
They're both saying this is an issue, but they're kind of coming at it from different ways. So I find, if I'm I always agree with you, I always agree with you. But if I'm like, ooh, I would do it that way, or I'm coming at it that way, I have to like shake my spirits a little bit and be like is there another approach I might take, or something, because I don't want to copy jazz, I want to take value from what she's doing and in the ways that works for me.
Well, you know, it's so funny that you're saying that. I think that that's why people have always like in the past, the feedback that I've gotten from teachers or like authority figures is like, wow, you're such a serious person and I'm like, okay, capricorn, that's a cool, that's fine. Yeah, that's totally fine, I'm totally okay with that. But then when people villainize the seriousness or they're like, oh, it's not that deep, I'm sorry, it's very deep. From my perspective, it's very deep, it's very serious. It's something that we do need to pay attention to. But I'm learning as I get older that it's not going to be, like you said, an overnight shift. It's not going to as much as I would want that pain to cease or the feeling that I'm feeling when I tap into that, knowing that that's occurring day in and day out.
It's connected to so many other problems, right.
Yeah, exactly. You can't just go in and click away and feel that one.
You've got to really look at something much larger.
Exactly, and that is causing I don't want to say causing, but I think it definitely makes me more human. It makes me have more compassion for my own humanity and the person on the other side, because I think to myself what are the things that you had to experience that told you that that was okay from the beginning? Someone or something told you that it was okay to extract to the point of no return for your own personal gain Just go. I'm just reflecting back to what you're saying is that the root of the issue touches so many different things and I think when I was younger and I had so much of this like humanitarianism, advocacy, energy, I really wanted to be like fix the problem. Right now there are kids suffering like let's just go and nip it in the butt.
It's not fix the problem though.
But it's not.
You are let us understand the problem, because when we understand what the real problem is, then we might move toward meaningful change. So that's where it's held with the like. You're a one there, and the way that you would really be able to give the best of you to the world is to follow that path of understanding what is going on here, but not have to take on the pressure or prove that you can be the one to fix it, or here's the best idea to fix it. It's just let us understand this problem and why it's here and why it exists. And because it touches so many things, it has also infected so many things.
So we've got a really sick entity and it's not about just applying a specific medicine to a specific place, but recognizing the entity is sick. Let us actually understand what's going on here. This is where your motivation comes in beautifully, because once we understand what's going on here and why we're sick in the first place and why it is leaching into all these other areas and infecting all these other areas, we can go into more holistic care. Otherwise, you're just treating symptoms.
Yeah it is it is it's just symptom focus, it's not systems focused, it's the entire system running. And if one little nail is loose, you think that that's not gonna just have this domino effect. And because I work so much and intimately with entrepreneurs and creative thinkers, I think that entrepreneurs are some of the most Okay, this is my bias coming in, but I love it.
Oh my God, lay it on. I can't wait. I love when you use that judgment sense and just cast those opinions Like. All I ever want from you is to tell me exactly how you feel about something I love that so much it gets such a kick out of it.
This is not to say that the other people in the world are not following their purpose or doing their thing. But from my vantage point, where I'm stood, I see that entrepreneurship and business is one of the most spiritual paths, because it really has us engaging with what is going on. We can't look away and we kind of have this incentive right which is oh, we want to make money, we want to be profitable, we want to make an impact, we want to support our communities.
We want to build a nice life for ourselves.
We do, we do, and so that is, in a way, this kind of dangling carrot that lets us move through the obstacles and the challenges that come with entrepreneurship. But then, when you get on the other side of that, you get your reward, you make that sale or do whatever the thing is. You start to realize I want more, I want to reach more, I want to do more, not in a way of doing, doing, doing, but in a way of what are some things that I couldn't see before, because the dangling carrot was in my way To connect with Air Society's exclusive content on slow business, self-awareness and spirituality, subscribe to our newsletter and to become a more nourished entrepreneur building a business that is both prosperous and purposeful. Join us inside of Air Society's teahouse.
It's kind of a sure moment where the vista opens up and you realize, wow, I know I'm an entrepreneur and I know I'm supposed to be coming up with great ideas and solutions and innovative approaches, but really what's happening is I'm a creator and I'm getting to play in this huge playground where some things are material and some things are immaterial.
And how do I take care of myself best so that I can continue to play that game for as long as I can, whether that's helping someone else with coming up with an idea or whether it's my own company that comes up with an idea. And that's why I'm so interested in using awareness languages like we have, human design and astrology, but especially the Genkis, and understanding how we are designed to play with the material world but to make a contribution that, like you said, is generational. It's not just my business and my lifetime was successful, but something about my business now seeds and is sowing something for a future generation. And I know you and I we're both Leo Rising, so we have Saturn going in our eighth house now.
Where we're thinking about wills and we're thinking about leaving an inheritance, and we're thinking about trust and all these other things Weird trends at.
hey, I wasn't expecting to feel so hit by that as I was, I wasn't expecting this Not hit, but just like deep contemplation around some of Saturn's teachings Deep, contemplation, deep contemplation.
This is, I mean, I'm a Saturnian being, I'm a Capricorn, I have five planets in Capricorn, and so I was yeah, you do yeah you do you know to me.
I'm like. I'm like used to that kind of like tight belt energy. Yes, you are. This is, you know what this showed me actually that although we're so deeply spiritual beings that maybe we have not lived in our human reality with devotion and respect the same way that we have in all of the other things that you and I kind of talk about, like we're so deeply spiritual and we so respect that realm, and there's something about the physical realm I'll speak for myself that kind of feels like Richard Rudd was talking one time about this poem that somebody wrote.
I love how this guy quotes poems, eh Like, just yeah, I know that's a thing, Dangers all the time with these poems.
But the poem was essentially talking about how doves are just pigeons. They eat the same shit, they eat the same flies, but somehow we revere doves and we really have a distaste for pigeons.
But they're really the same thing, they're the same family and they make the same weird sounds.
The same family, the same thing. And so here Saturn is saying you know, I love how devoted you are to your spiritual practice and understanding the realm of the formless and knowing that you are God and creating as such. But I also want you to be deeply respectful and in reverence with what the material world is constantly blossoming, is constantly showing you. Sometimes those things are ugly, sometimes they are pigeons that eat poop, and then other times you will have that dove-like moment where it mutates and shifts into something completely different.
What?
does the pigeon mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? You tell me?
Wait, I want to, I'm going to, I'm going to, rather than go translate that cute little bird. I my ears pricked up because you were talking about identifying as a creator, you know, and really being an entrepreneur, that that's really a big part of what that is for you. This is why I love watching the three. Five, by the way, it's my favorite character, murder heretic, best character to watch you came in. Most entertaining, most entertaining.
I like this language of creator because over in my world I have an indigenous family. So my son, as part of his family's, reclaiming their indigenousness because that side of the family really did for survival, cut it off and we tracked, even like back to through the census in Canada, literally when they did that, so that they weren't going to be associated with some of the racial things going on. And my son is now part of a generation where they're really reclaiming that part of their heritage and my husband is kind of going through that with him and reclaiming it for himself through our kid. And so my son is learning all kinds of different indigenous languages, which is really neat, and so many of these different languages and teachings are centered around their relationship with creator, which for them means God, and so Huxley will then call me his creator because I'm the one who gave him life. But it's also an interchangeable language of Brit I was the one who gave him his life. He views me as that kind of worship in that way, that goodness in that way, and not in an inflated or skewed or unhealthy way, which is a language thing that he's now learning through his culture, and I was so inspired by that. Like in our house saying the word God is often interchanged with creator. Okay, but then my son will come in and be like I love you, mom, you're my creator, and then I'll go into another world and my entrepreneurial friends are over creators.
You know, I follow a creator account on Twitter, on Instagram, let's say, and it's all just, it all just starts to blur together for me, that language piece and as I go and kind of create professionally, making artworks and whatever, when you view it, as you know, okay, I'm a creator, oh, but that word means so much more. There's such a fullness with that word as well. It does make you create different type of material and it does make you behave and devote yourself and respect yourself and others in a different way, and I do think there's a bit of ego and pride that is kind of infiltrating that as well, but it feels very good for me and I like to be in spaces where the words can mean different things like that, because I find I get inspired by that in new ways. So I'm able, just through my son's language and him teaching me and my husband about this and the words that he uses, when I sit down at my computer and I go and create professionally, I've still got that language swirling around just while I'm getting the alert from the creator account on Instagram.
It's like a constant reminder of don't forget that. Your holy don't forget. Oh, you're making it. Oh, my God, you're doing a little thing that you do. You're nodding or doing your smile. She's gonna start. Yes, yeah, that's what's funny to me. Someone said you're so serious, by the way. I was like well, that those poor people they don't get to.
I get to voxer her while she's peeing on the toilet and she's pissed at her skincare juice not like too much emptiness in the bag, and she's being ridiculous Like we love that, that light side of Capricorn, anyway. Anyway, I like to mix up the language like that. Yeah, because it makes me express so differently and depending on the sphere I go in you know what that sounds like.
It sounds like an easier way to set an intention. I think that people get so kind of what kind of intention can I set? Oh, I'm a creator. Okay, how does a creator behave? Love that what what when they create? What's their, what's the vibe that they want to put out? They want to put out good vibes.
They want to put out welcoming vibes, inviting energy to what type of frequency do you want to create and get out into the world?
Yes, because you're emitting it anyway. Yep, you're emitting it anyway. So you might as well have, say and have wills, I'll play with it over it. Yes, yes, you might as well play with it. There's it. When you were talking, I was just thinking about. I'm just going to bring it back to us because because we love that.
What Personal view we're here to learn about you know what I do want to say? I value that so much in you because I have been in experiences before where so much of my viewpoint and my ways of learning is I'll hear something and I'll share a story of myself and how I'm relating to it. But I can see that others may at times perceive that to be like wow they're always talking about themselves.
I know about themselves.
It's like, oh, that's just my focal point of learning. Everything is filtered through my experience and so through the deepening of my relationship with you, which is across the globe, which is a cute story for us. I love when I can come to you with a personal story and you'll meet me with another personal story that matches it, or you'll come to me with a personal story and I'm able to meet you with another personal story.
It no way feels narcissistic or telling me what to do, or it's letting me see myself through your teaching and take from it what I need in the parts that I relate to.
Yeah, I love that about you. I love that. Thank you for being that Honest and thank you for me no, thank you for being that, because that has healed like a wound in friendship that I didn't know that I had. You know, because, going back to what you were saying about when someone's telling their story, the way that we show compassion is finding that experience within ourselves, where we experience that, and sharing that, not because I want you to apologize or to do anything. For me is because I'm trying to enter what you're going through and that's my only entry point is totally you know what that? That has never happened to me before.
I'm really sorry that that happened to me. You're like let me understand, right, you're moving, let me understand. So, in order to understand, I must come through my experience, through my personal view.
But that's not for everyone, because there might be people listening that they have no idea what we're talking about. Personal view, like if you run your variable chart. You can go to Vanessa's website and run your variable chart. It will tell you what your view is. But you know what, jeff, I love to do that. No, let me. Let me finish the whole pitch.
And then you're going to join her wellness club.
And then you're going to scroll down to the third section and listen to what your view is.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yes, read or listen to all those translations. You can tell me anytime. That's fun. I got all gassed up Like she's just what. What is she doing right now? Cute, loved that. Loved that. More of that, that's fine. Thank you very much.
I wanted to bring it back to our Saturn and Pisces and how the dove and the pigeon are really the same coin, just different sides to it, and how you were speaking about how creator and God, and how it mutates back and forth, and how the lines start to get really blurry and you're not really sure which one is which one. Something I was reading in the Bible that really shocked me.
What a fucking statement. I know I'm sorry.
I was reading in the Bible.
I love that.
I love that, Like who is she Okay, we just went all the way over there. A good man leaves an inheritance for his children. I don't know if that's in Proverbs Ecclesiastes, but a good man leaves an inheritance for his children. I was like that's in the Bible. What are your feelings around this? The definition of a good man is a man that leaves an inheritance for his children. There are so many angles that we can dive into that. Number one the propaganda of religiosity that has demonized money and why you should have it, let alone the story of Job, who was such an exalted human being by God and one of the richest people in the Bible. You have all these stories that are taken out of context, manipulated, villainized, and here we are having this. It almost feels like a Saturn return, essentially in our eighth house. That's like a good. It's just a whisper. A good man leaves an inheritance for their children. Do you have an inheritance? I'm not talking about a spiritual inheritance. Let us now define inheritance Physicals yes, because my father passed away.
I didn't get any money or inheritance there, but you better believe I inherited something. You better believe I inherited a bunch of things. Not all of these are, quote unquote, good, but they were inherited. So I first have to define what is good and I don't like to subscribe to good or bad or anything like that. So to me a man leaves an inheritance to his child.
We can say a noble man, we can say a holy man.
We can say a let's just say a person, because I'm non-binary, so I'd love to take that out.
An aware person Leaves an inheritance to their child.
Suddenly that feels nice and spacious, suddenly that feels like well, do I get to define what inheritance is? But as soon as we start putting in some of those things like that but also let's the Bible At the time that this was written at, and we think of the series of expansions that humanity has gone through. This is also what I love about the teachings in Feng Shui is they feel the study is somewhat useless if it does not mutate right along with humanity. For example, in landscape Feng Shui, the way we used to identify if it was an auspicious place to live, there was a good flow of energy around. You would be looking for undulating hills and a river, and as we continued to evolve, these locations weren't necessarily what remained to be available, and so highways became like the information highway, the information flow. The road is the same energy as the river. The skyscraper building is the same energy as the mountain, and if you're able to identify these things in your landscape, you'll be able to benefit from this.
Well, the study had to modernize. It had to be able to translate. Well, what is the modern mountain? And you live in a city. How might I benefit from these teachings? And I like that about that, I really like that about Feng Shui, that it's like how do you make this practical so it works for you? In ancient times it used to be really gate kept and it was only even though the teaching of how the teaching of Feng Shui came to be it came from like a female god, lady of the Heavens, came and gifted it so that they could stop a war, or stop many wars, I think. But then it was reserved just for men to practice, which is a strange thing, with a specific compass that you needed. But now we all have access to a compass on our phone, but so much more able to be shared and spread and modernized. And I think this goes for all these kinds of awareness, language, ancient teachings of, like the medicine and wisdom from the time it was written in.
How might we now take this and bring this into current day with what we know and get those wisdoms and medicines out of it? Instead of like, let us recognize the time it was written in, or the time it was conceived in or born in, and let us be open to modernizing it so we can get the fullness and the full benefit of what's available to us there, as we've evolved so much.
We have to. If we don't, we're just eating rotting. Stale food Just stale expired.
Stale systems.
It's just we have to, Because I often you know, Alex is one of my top people that I watch, and I know that he comes from a very religious background and so my interest in the Bible really comes through him.
But the way that I read it is, I don't.
I don't carry all of the lenses that he's had to carry, so when I read it I read it more of like a history book, which is nice because I get to place myself in more of the stories and more of the the teachings and more of the understandings and I get to really like it's pliable to me, it's not stagnant water, whereas for a lot of people with these mystical texts and again I'm calling it a mystical text I love a mystical text.
Religious fuck you know love, a mystical text, it, just it. I think that it's the approach as well that allows there to be a little bit more space. But if you've been indoctrinated to think a certain way about a certain thing, about yourself, at worst the way that you go and approach things is not going to be spacious, it's not going to allow more inspiration to come in. But I feel like that little verse is really going to take me through the rest of this.
I want to say something about this, because you're bringing us back to the LinkedIn conversation. We're all looking at the same thing. We're just coming at it from different angles. And I actually, growing up, I thought I was I don't know how else to say this like Bible aware, like I thought I knew what that was and what the stories are.
But I then became great friends over the course of my life and dated many people who were very religious and that's how I learned I was not and that's how I learned I was actually not raised with those teachings, but it was just kind of like a weird Christian ether around me or something. Yeah, like I had asked you like how many? Like what are all? The? Like there's Catholic, there's Pescapalea or whatever. There's all these things, but they're all under the Christian umbrella. Like I just didn't understand.
And so then, as I started to see a lot of the suffering through some of my people I loved, while they were kind of deconditioning from their religious experiences, I realized I don't know anything about that and I tend to stay away from anything about Christianity or the Bible. Honestly, with a 10 foot pole it feels quite dangerous to me because I was not raised with it, I was not steeped in it, but I encountered people who were and they seemed quite traumatized. So I want to kind of just say I'm not aware of what all the great medicine and teachings are in the Bible, but when you started saying to me, oh, it's a mystical text, or I heard like Christian mythology, I was like that's cool. Like suddenly it was just positioned in a different way and I was like, well, I can listen to a podcast. I was explaining the Bible to me, like, and jazz was like to me.
Oh my God. I was like I don't know what this is. And you were like like why is there one Testament, two Testament? I don't know New Testament, old Testament, I don't know any of this means. And you gave me like a very simple kind of breakdown and I was like this sounds like some fantastical stories.
Like this sounds like aliens came and they mixed with the creatures that were on earth, made a new creature and they're like, oh, this is a mess, let's wash it away, like to me. I was like this is just a really great story, you know. I was like they should make this into like a, like a fantastical thing, and you're like they did. It was Lord of the Rings. I was like, oh God, I don't know anything about anything.
I didn't see Lord of the Rings, like I miss like, and I didn't see Christianity, like I did I miss a lot of these really big teachings. And just shows me, oh, I actually come from a totally different background, but I thought, just because I'm white, to be honest, I thought that was what I was, who I am, and I'm now as I am. You know, in my pushing into my mid 30s, I realize I don't know those teachings at all and they might actually be very nourishing, but my experience in encountering them through osmosis was people who were very wounded and hurt, and so that's just what I took from it. So I don't really sad?
I think so too. Yeah, some of my deepest friendships. I was there witnessing them moving away from their religiousness and I always had to kind of find myself in those spaces. I thought that was very curious. My best friend growing up was Jehovah Witness. I learned so much there. I had a great love who was Mennonite. You know what I mean. Like I really was exposed to some of these things. I had cousins who were an action, my step sisters were Jewish, so I got to really just be immersed in a lot of different viewpoints about humanity's relationship with Godness and what that is.
Yeah, yeah, because that's. I love that. That's like a succinct definition. All of these things are humanity's relationship with God. Hearing, trying to understand God, trying to hear.
Well, because they're trying to understand themselves.
Themselves, themselves. We're trying to understand ourselves, and I mean Genesis being the first book, and I boxed how many books are there? How many books are there Like, oh man, I don't. I couldn't tell you the number. I have no idea.
There's like a book of John or a book of Paul or a book of Karen.
Oh yeah, there's two yeah.
Karen, can you? No, karen's not in there, we Karen's, but she's been written off, sorry, girl. No, yeah, but there's a lot of books, right? That's just like a series like am I reading Animorphs and am I reading it from the perspective of this person? It is.
It is, it's, it's a. To me it reads like a diary of all of these figures, that and there's so many books that were not included in the Bible. I mean Book of Enoch you were talking about Enoch and the angels.
Yeah, who's this person? Who's Kate Jazz, jazz.
Hmm, oh, we're not going to get into it. This podcast would be a gazillion hours long OK, ok, ok, I'll hold it. I'll hold it back for our boxer session, but the only thing I wanted to reflect is that was a great definition.
The only thing you said, Vanessa, that was valuable.
No, not even the the thing that I want to work with is that when we talk about spirituality and then we kind of, we have to open the door to religion, because it is more of a result of the same thing. It. You know what?
I don't know if it's the same thing, but it oftentimes feels like shadow, and then just, it's just the angle you're looking at it, it's just the angle.
It is. It's the same frequency, but the result of it feels like a result of a fearful, distorted, chaotic, controlling experience of wanting to know God. So you create a religious box and you say no one can leave this religious box and to the point where we're going to make you feel like God only lives in this religious box. I mean, look at all the stuff that's going on in the news, not going to get into it, but it's from a perspective of God lives here and doesn't live there. There's sacredness and holiness here and there is not sacredness and holiness.
So yeah, we're really missing the point there. Right, like, if we are all, like if we are coming from the perspective of I am another, you, we are all the same, we are all. Of that same kind of Godness, that same lineage, we would not be mistreating each other in this way.
Do we really need to build churches and temples because we think God is going to show up there. Or do we need to realize that God is in the trees, god is in your cabin, god is absolutely everywhere? Because we are in all these places?
and aliveness. We are in all these things. It is, and we are, the temple.
If it's just cute and fun to build a temple, or build your temple or treat your body like a temple. We're not going to just go, have fun, we don't need to make it like a whole thing.
Yeah, you don't have to make it a whole thing.
Now that I'm like I don't, wow, I don't know anything about the Bible. I'm like maybe I should learn, but the way it's written I find to be quite challenging. So I've been exposing myself to other kinds of texts that are written in that type of syntax so I might be able to just get a little bit. I don't want to miss the point or miss the message that I've been exploring. Like maybe I should listen to it. Like there's some podcasts that will, like read the Bible and explain the Bible. I'm like, oh, this is cute, I can get on board with that.
But, like you, look look at this as a documentation of humanity's experience through the ages and let us not look at so much at the focal point of what humanity was talking about, but the many voices that were represented and the angles in which they came from, because we know that this is an archaic piece of material, you know, and the teachings and messengers and things, experiences that happened at that time happened at a much earlier time. So let us get wisdom from it, but recognize we're in a totally different place.
You know, as a, as a species, we are in a totally different place and I do often wonder, like, why don't we have multiple Bibles, that Absolutely that, that that kind of like timestamp, epochs of time?
I don't resonate with this concept that I think comes from the Bible, of heaven and hell. That's not the way that I perceive reality, because to me that is earth, because I have lived on earth and it has been an absolute hell, and I've lived on earth and it's been absolute heaven. I feel like we're on this random marble, in the middle of this void of nothingness, and we have the opportunity and chance to come here with all these different potentials that we might have as an individual, to have this fully experience, this experience of aliveness where everything is formless around us. And only when we come and have this fully formed experience can we actually emote, can we actually feel, can we actually experience. Well, what would be greater in the whole world than that, than having that opportunity? But depending what you make of it, depending how it goes, it could be hell. And depending what you make of it, depending how it goes, it could be heaven. Yeah, yeah.
Listening to the laughter of my child is an absolute bliss, yeah, but being on my death med, pumped with chemotherapy and poison, is an absolute hell. Is it possible for both, both these realities to exist in the same place? What might we discover if we allow ourselves to hold that potential?
From my own experience it has existed here on Earth Mine too and whenever I think of like kind of just like, the daily bread prayer, I know that that's not what it's called. So nobody come for me, but the one that's like our father who is in heaven. How will be thy name? Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on.
Earth as it is in heaven. Right, and every time I would read that, I would think they forced me to say that every day in school and the kids who didn't say it because they didn't sign the paper had to go in the hallway. They were the bad kids. What a weird thing. Hey, but no, they were just like I'm the Jehovah Witness. I don't. This is stupid. I'm not doing this like that. I'm so sorry. That's not what they thought.
I was just paraphrasing what young kids will say, but then that was how it was deemed because it was like well, you're leaving Right and we're not paying attention to what we're saying in grade one, you know well, you're leaving our society, You're leaving what we've built. Totally. You're leaving the tribe. You're not safe.
You're leaving the tribe Exactly, as opposed to everyone is having their own relationship and experience with the God that they know and are continuing to know on a daily basis, and it doesn't need four walls in order to find you. It will find you on your bed being sick and it will find you, and it will find you in the voices of your children and in the voices of people that are, you know, screaming and weeping and gnashing and all the different things Like. One of the things I always say is like God is in the gutter, and I know that that's very hard to like conceptualize, because we have personified and really like made a caricature of what God is, but only through our lens of knowing what, trying to know what man is, but we can't even begin to fathom and to understand and to write all the things that God is and God isn't. There is no, god isn't. God is everything which is, you know, just takes you. It's like well, so God is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then the more it like starts to, it's it definitely can be a mind fuck Like when you try to approach it with your mind, entertain the idea that Godness is this caricature of this white bearded man in the sky. Let's just entertain that for a second, okay, and let's say this being this entity, this incredible power of incarnating on earth and being a little boy who sits next to you on the bus Because of course he's all the power, of course. And then, if, all of a sudden, I was gifted with the knowledge where I knew that little boy was God here, having an experience inhabiting earth, because it's like this is the greatest delight ever I would probably treat that kid differently beside me, absolutely, of course I would.
Of course I would. And what if you realized that it was you?
and what if you realized it was you? Oh shit, would I like? Would I really throw that crumb on the ground? Is that a way of God? So that's what would happen to me.
Exactly, dude, that's exactly it. Like a sailor asks us like why do we have? They have this one book that's like this is how you save the world or save the earth or something. And Elisha and sailor piece these are my kids, they are sticklers. Okay, when there is a piece of why would anyone litter? Don't they know that the earth? Don't they know that this? It doesn't. It doesn't. Alex was teaching them about colonization. I know, I get it, they're five years old, seven years old, but these are the things that we have to talk about. Yeah, we live in Bali. Why is there so much trash? Colonization? People brought trash. They taught these people that were here Balinese people and Donizian people that, oh, these things are better and you can use them. Never once did they ever use something that wouldn't biodegrade back into the ocean or biodegrade back into the forest. They ate from banana leaves. They didn't eat from styrofoam plates and so now that they're styrofoam everywhere.
what are you going to do? So sailor was having this whole like five year old crisis that I'm a colonizer. I'm the one that brought the styrofoam. I'm American. I am not Indonesian. I'm the one that brought this here. Why do we do that? If we're here, supposed to take care of earth, why do we trick people and tell them that they can use this and it will biodegrade into the forest? And we know that that's not true, and so they're having to deal with their own morality.
Obviously, you're not a colonizer, you're five years old.
I mean the questions that she asked. I'm just like where do you get these things from To the point now we are going to have to go into this conversation? Because in our house we do talk about God. We talk about a living, breathing entity that's all around us. And so, going back to what you said about, if you know that you're God, would you litter? You wouldn't accept that you've forgotten.
You'd probably accept that you don't understand. You'd see it, you'd pick it up somewhere.
You'd pick it up. You'd pick it up because in the Bible I'm doing air quotation marks it says that the sidewalks are paved with gold and I thought to myself yeah, if I was God, why wouldn't I do that? Oh yeah, why wouldn't I?
pay my son.
Oh yeah, Of course.
Of course, if we could have a. I want to have a little personal view moment because I also want to share a little story about my son. When I was a kid I didn't know anything about residential schools and I think the last residential school closed in the 90s in which I was alive and it's kind of positioned as residential schools were ancient, long time ago. Well, they're actually in my lifetime and I was not aware of it at all. And now I'm situated in the Okanagan and nearby there was a discovery recently of a bunch of children who were murdered at a residential school and buried. And so my son is in Indigenous teachings, where he's really lucky in that he's supported in that way, whereas, like, that was not available, at say, for my husband when he was a child. And so my son gets to learn about these things in the past, but also in real time. And for him he just could not wrap his head around. Why a teacher or a caregiver? Because he doesn't see the huge religious part of it. It's more like a school. You know how they could ever do that? He almost can't compute it, because they're the teacher, they're the helper. How could they let this happen? What did their parents say, well, their parents weren't told. How can that be?
So if I was alive at that time, I would have been in a residential school. And we're like, well, we don't know, you might have been, you know, or you might not have, I don't know. We're learning about this with you and he gets such anger about it. He feels so angry. And then my husband, who's also learning about it in real time with Hawk, is like feeling the feelings as well, but he's forced to almost contend with them, because the child is like asking the questions, bringing it up, and you do have to distill it down into a simple thing sometimes in order to be able to convey it to them, and many times it doesn't make sense why that was there. That was a flaw on our history. We shouldn't have done that. And now we're learning about that and he gets big feelings about it. No one was telling me that when I was eight.
No, nobody. I don't even think that we could ask those questions, because there wasn't enough information.
I didn't know what racism was. That was never, and my best friend was black and, like you think I would have been able to pick it up or deduce, I had no concept, no awareness of what I should be looking for. You know, I feel some kind of way about that relationship now looking back as an adult, knowing what I know now, and then seeing what she had to endure and contend with that.
I was not aware of. It just makes me feel away.
I wish I could have been so much more there for you, but I had such a lack of awareness. Gosh and she, of course, was the only black family in a white town, so it was very intense for them, you know.
I think this is why we work in awareness. Yeah, because it's it's just so deeply important and touches so many different aspects of life that we would be exhausted to list Not just spirituality, not just religion, not just corporate, not just health, not just mental health, or in relationships with our kids, raising our kids. Like, if you are not aware you're not alive, you're just not living to the fullest, you're just not even if you wanted to be set apart, you couldn't Like, even if you, even if you carried so much hate in your heart and in your life and you wanted to just have nothing to do with anything, you couldn't because you are it. So I really just understand that notion of like God is always chasing you, or that energy of aliveness is always chasing you. Because how can I be OK if let's say I have a million, I know a million people and one of them feels ousted? I'm going to go for the one that feels ousted, like we're not complete, we're not a million, we're 999,999.
And in a way, it feels like a huge loss that can only imagine this creator energy being like oh my one person or thing that I created. It feels like they're not worthy of existence, they're not worthy of love or money or success or recognition or whatever the thing is. I'm going to, I'm going to chase them, I'm going to send them signs, I'm going to send them a butterfly. I'm going to keep on reminding them I love you and you're here, and I know that things maybe feel like you're down and out, because I would do that if those are my kids. Why would I only be tending to my kids that know that my job, my whole focus, would be on the, the ones that don't, and to fortify the ones that do, to serve as exemplars or reminders of that love, that unconditional support that I got you and it's going to be OK.
And look at all the beautiful things that we get to experience, and that's what friendship is, that's what marriages or partnership is, that's what that relationship with your parents is, or the relationship with your art, with your crafts, your meditation, the books you love, the teas that you drink. That's why I always say that beauty really is a doorway to God, because it's almost like you don't have to give anything for it. There's no exchange, it's available everywhere, as opposed to other things that we've created. These kind of walls of exchange Really go and you're not going to get this good thing unless you exchange money, time, resources.
I don't know. That's one of the things.
I love about your translations.
It's like I could just. I could just listen to you. I could just listen to you. I just sit here. How weird is it for you to sit here gazing adoringly at you.
I don't like it.
She's so smart, I love her brain.
I totally get why you feel like that with the second line. Remember we were talking about our core wounds and mine's the 48.2 and I'm like I had a whole epiphany about you. I had a whole epiphany about my kids being two, fours. I was like, oh, the second line, oh my God, this is what it feels. This is the uncomfortableness of being a genius. I mean, I think second lines are freaking genius.
Oh my God, you got this little genius Finally.
Finally skips 12 grades like oh my gosh living for this moment, but it just gave me so much more compassion for anyone, even if they're not a second line to be like. Oh.
This is why it's so important to carefully curate who we are willing and not willing to have around us, because we are not aware of aspects of self and we need to have people around us who will reflect the beautiful parts and the parts that are rough around the edges that we perhaps might want to be aware of or soften. But there are also people we can be around who are abrasive and rough us up and you know, there isn't that softening there.
So can we? Can we recognize that? And it's so important because then we can recognize things about ourselves and understand that kind of Godness within us, depending on who we choose to surround ourselves with.
I love that. Thank you. That was. This is very yum yum yum.
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